


Black rose and Green roses

by ScotCoyjedii



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dark!Dwarves, F/F, F/M, Female Bilbo, M/M, Multi, Swearing, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 08:59:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4013704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScotCoyjedii/pseuds/ScotCoyjedii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Thorin gets attacked in a hard place by a crazy hobbit dual wielding cast iron skillet's. And where his most loyal crazy, psychotic and completely ruthless follower Bifur gets a face full of a bountiful figure. And a kiss to seal the deal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black rose and Green roses

When his father Thráin made a deal with Smaug to let him keep the horde of gold his father Thrór himself compiled, it was out of his own best interests. If he called his father a fool and made a few crude jokes that made Smaug laugh, then it wasn't his fault he had a thing for making friends that were dangerous(and he liked it). Their was peace for a time Smaug could eat and have as much to drink as he wished without killing anyone in the process. He found that the dragon Smaug _loves the divine tastes of the elven king hall's wines_ something he and the Smaug agreed on. He liked elven wine more than dwarven wine or even ale didn't hold a candle to the elvenking's brew of wine, or just elven wine in general.

 

Something that most dwarves found distasteful other than him bonding with Smaug was his consumption of elven wine he even allowed his own Grandson to flirt with with the redheaded elf guard captain Tauriel! It was scandalous! His father nearly killed him for that but by that time it was too late the dwarfling he raised alongside his beloved wife who he watched marry with pride and much joy. With three children! Three!  
When his wife died of illness a month prior to the attack by Smaug he never saw his son weep he never bothered. He was too busy with his gold to care that his own flesh and blood son own moral event horizon was here and gone already! He showed how much he cared even while his own son cried and none heard it no one was their none of his children could be bothered with him their own old man. He didn't succumb to greed he succumbed to different type of greed: bloodlust. Controlled of corse for the moment at least he kept it together he managed to rebuild the mirror her death completely shattered. By the time he managed to do that he finds out he's being passed over in the line of succession without being told. Cold fury building up unwittingly the old kook made him a very unwitting target for his own son to direct his bloody rage on in due time. 

 

"Thráin you decided to grace us--"  
"Shut the hell up."  
"You haven't bothered to attend any of the meetings--"  
"Like you ever cared for anything but your stupid gold of late you sicken me completely you never showed up for her funeral."  
"I was busy."  
"Doing what admiring those stupid peices of junk? And stone."  
"This is the part where I say 'run you fool' and laugh at any blood spilt that may or may not follow." Talgi Ironsword said she had that sparkle in her eye of intense interest with a crooked half grin that was a bit sadistic.  
"Should we do something?"  
"No this is like a show lets see how it pans out."  
"Twenty silver that he goes berserk."  
"Three hundred gold that he just tells him what he feels mainly the bloody part."

 

"Really are you betting on my da?"  
"Sorry boyo but you are kind of late maybe you should have made time for him while he was suffering the most."  
"Still a bit uncalled for eh? A month after his wife returns to stone he's passed over for the line of succession. Sounds fishy eh?" Talgi said.

 

"She had arsenic in her system she was murdered the Mees lines appear not too long after being poisoned, they can also appear sometimes as a symptom of renal failure."Khummongaer stated just as the one guard tried to leave at the snap of Talgi's fingers her own guards made sure he didn't escape. The guard admitted to poisoning the princess at his kings behest. She had hated her in-law something he found 'endearing' in every way because she pointed out he made mistakes just as much as everyone else.  
"Which she didn't have its a human thing."  
"True."  
"You weren't good at court intrigue were you father?" His son sneered.  
"Oh this is going to get good."  
"I don't care much for the succession but if you think you can get away..." He was attacked by the same guard who poisoned his wife. With a sick grin on his face he stabbed him with his dagger twisting the blade in such a way that left the dwarf gasping for air. For several minutes as he bled around the wound stepping over the fallen dwarf dispassionately.  
"The only thing keeping me from killing you on the spot right now is that your my father and the king. I swear to Mahal if you push me further I will make you wish you never had any children!"  
"You dare!"  
"Leave this room now! Or I will make you leave." Thráin threatened and the guards did indeed leave.  
"I will personally make it so you either live or die depending on whether or not I'm feeling charitable. Give me another reason to put this miserable runt of a dwarf king out of his misery other than it would make me worse than you."  
"You are as gold hungry as him aren't you?" Frerin meeped stupidly.  
"You are a dumb ass."Talgi noted. Thráin just laughed bitterly.  
"I don't want the idiotic desires of my father blinded by his own greed."  
He turned to his dad once more hate, rage filled his eyes and a mild bloodlust that the king had no idea what it was having never seen it before.  
"However," He pulled his own father from the throne.  
"If you cross me again in anyway I will take my retribution by taking your life and putting the dragon sick king out of his bloody misery." He spat it finally registered as a threat to him.  
In that moment he saw something change in his son and not for the better never all at once as every trace of good fell from him. He himself felt the gold sickness falter and fade the moment he saw his son make a deal with Smaug cracking a few crude jokes. He made right by his fathers failings as king giving the diamonds the elvenking desired so much.

 

How it came to them being so dark spawned from that event. Even now Thráin sits upon his throne while his daughter is the Queen of Moria along with her King Víli. They had just recently met there vanguard here in the Shire. Thorin's most loyal unquestioning and completely nuts, psychotic, soldier was none other than Bifur. The old injury of his left him unable to speak Westron and a bit telepathic. King Thrór still has a few surviving supporters minus Dáin and Tokora who was still in Ered Luin. 

These hobbits thought we were invading them! Why would the dwarves annex that petty kingdom into there empire? Well we called it that but after what Thrór did... I hear that his only allies in massive numbers are the orcs. Something about him helping them kill Smaug. Bloody oaf of a smith. 

 

Thorin never saw the bloody wench coming speaking of invisible flying possums and rabbits she said were coming to haunt her for killing and eating them for lunch. She was chasing the invisible something's around with a cast iron skillet one in each hand at least until she threw one at Thorin accidentally hitting him in the balls. He fell to his knees cursing up a storm in khuzdul, giving the go ahead for Bifur to kill the wench instead he's stopped by the most beautiful female any of them (unmarried) minus Glóin and Bombur had ever seen. 

Bifur got a close up view of those boobs of hers something that rendered him temporarily incapacitated he recovered quickly after pulling himself away from her glorious womenly figure. He growled at her saying something harsh as the blonde with the green eyes only smiled mischievously ignorant of what he said to her perhaps it is best she didn't know what he said. Next thing he knew he was being kissed softly on the lips something he returned passionately and she followed his lead after that. 

 

"Dwarven men!" The young thirty three year old women hordes squealed in glee. They got mobbed by many women all of whom wished they could 'pleasure'.  
"Mind my cousin Amy hasn't been quite right she got a bad hit of catnip and still hasn't come down from it six months later. We don't have a place to keep her exactly." 

"Oi bastard! Cut out the tongueing get a damn room!" She shouted at the blonde.

 

"Dora Baggins Master dwarf."

 

"What did I tells ya?" She threw something at the blonde. With impressive reflexes the blonde caught it between her index and middle finger without harming herself. Disengaging in a kiss that left Bifur begging for something more.  
"Something tells me that your a tiger in bed, lets go find out shall we? If your willing to go that far master Bifur."  
He simply nodded dreamily and off the two were to do the deed. 

 

"I love this place Uncle can I stay?"  
"What?"  
"Its the pointy-ish ears."  
"Oh Mahal save me there is hardly enough time in the world to enjoy this."  
"What do you mean you'll probably live till your two hundred." Glóin stated gruffly.  
"If they are that lucky." Bofur said he saw Dora and she saw. He just knew that she was his One.  
"Yavanna save me," She breathed.  
"Milady." It was a blessed sight to see it though they went off to her home. 

 

Bifur graced us with an appearance a week later at our makeshift barrack's with a smile on his face and a hangover that somehow turned his personality around. He couldn't stop smiling it was creepy! He might have had a good time because he slept well afterwards he was cheery though his outlook on life didn't change much (he still hated Thrór). Though in his time away he taught the blond Hobbitess some Khuzdul and Inglishmêk something that he probably shouldn't have done. She introduced him to a cousin who really liked him but was shy Foxglove Took, apparently he was well liked among the ladyfolk. Not as much as Fíli or Kíli who had thirteen harems (and counting!) but a harem of six or seven ladies made him happy.

 

"By mahal brother!"  
Thorin looked at Frerin he did a double take when his brother came home with twenty women following him.

"They love me already." He was grinning ear to ear. His usual cheery self was rearing its head once more.

"Come on. You need to get out beyond the usual duties requires of the crown prince at least have sex with a woman." Frerin was insistent he didn't get literally mobbed by a bunch of hobbit men three days ago. Literally its like breeding season for them and they are humping everything with a pulse. Well not literally, but nearly being raped by the male hobbits. I admit I bolted and got Frerin running after me shouting things you didn't normally say to a leader but could get away with when its your older brother. He eventually tackled me and over powered me. 

"Come on stop being a dwarfling!"  
"You weren't mobbed by a bunch of male hobbits three days ago. They don't even get we aren't invading them we are looking for Thrór."  
"He made the original black arrows Thorin he's a master black smith like yourself. Do you think that a dragon will stop them?"  
"One dragon no. But from what I gathered from Smaug he parents said the Shire was once home to the most powerful dragons in Middle Earth."  
"You wouldn't be referring to that crazy old loon?"  
"Ah its you."  
"A thank you would be nice but I guess that would be asking too much from a majestic bastard."  
"Your dragon friend is correct the largest catch of true dragon eggs once was in the Shire long ago. We have this tendency of mating with whomever we desire. Not all of us are the remaining elder blood are the only remaining blood of the elder and are elflings.By the way Belladonna Bilba Baggins the second at your service."  
"How'd...?"  
"My feminine wiles." Bella answered.

"And my Famous strawberry tarts and blackberry muffins." She added.  
"There you go." She had said pointing to the tied and bound Thrór.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing!


End file.
